Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
