He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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