addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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