sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
