i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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