it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Randomize
