I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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