sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
