Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
