Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
