did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
