i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
