I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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