Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
