you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
