No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
