I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
