I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
