would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
