Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A+ Viking dick
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
