So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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