she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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