It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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