You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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