He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
