Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
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one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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