Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
