I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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