It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
