i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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