my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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