hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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