either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We are all done wearing pants today
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
