i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
