I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
