I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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