You work out of a Hotel?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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