brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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