Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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