I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
