Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My bed smells like the plague
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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