Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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