I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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