Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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