help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
