your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
