Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
