just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had to cum in my sink.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize