They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize