I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
