Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The air was thick with penises
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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