the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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