the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
me + whiskey = a bad person
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
