I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
