Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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