Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize