She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
